New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize