we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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