I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
