I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
A bitchslap is in order.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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