he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
