no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
