she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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