Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
