We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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