so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
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The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
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And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just forgot I was standing up.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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