Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
