I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
