Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
