on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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