gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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