Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
