Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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