Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
