How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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