Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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