i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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