Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
