We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
