loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize