My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
