I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
