i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
