The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he was CRYING into my vagina
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
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obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
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Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My penis needs a shock collar
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...