like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
