the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
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That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
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Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.