if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it