i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
