Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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