Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Randomize
