Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize