I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
