this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
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Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
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No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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