currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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