i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
