true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize