i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
