I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
