you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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