Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I need a burrito and a hug.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
