Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
