yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
