You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
