Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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