waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
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