Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
