hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
