I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
