i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
How does it feel to date your dad?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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