a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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