he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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