Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
