Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
