he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
