Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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