I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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