why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
