All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
