3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
