i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
