come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
