The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
