Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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