I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦â€
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