idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
