I hate your face
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
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