first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
