You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
